It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
