To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
