Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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