Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
