omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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