Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
