do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
