i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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