Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
