she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
