Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
