there was a trapeze. enough said
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize