I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
