i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
