i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
