Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize