Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
