CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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