All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
