that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
