she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize