Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
