I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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