i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
