bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
