he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
