East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
