so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
