I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
