You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
