i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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