He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
