just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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