so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
