Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
