I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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