Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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