I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize