i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
