I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I want to be your penis for a week.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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