That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
