Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
