You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
