So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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