Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
