jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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