Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
