at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
