I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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