No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
