He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
