the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
