Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
