So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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