he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
