We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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