I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
