we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
