so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i drank out of a bidet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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