Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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