I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
3pm strippers are depressing
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
