I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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