well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
