when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
