I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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