I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
