I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
