Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize