I'm so fucking centered right now
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
