I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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