You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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