people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
