So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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