just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
